Suit Yourself
by easiertolie
Summary: Kate keeps pushing him toward other women. FIrst Serena Kaye and now the new prosecutor and he's tired of it.


A/N: I don't own any of this.

Quick One-shot. Takes place sometime late season 4.

**Suit Yourself**

"Suit yourself Castle."

That was the third time Kate Beckett had said that to him. First with Serena Kaye, then with that journalist and now with the new prosecutor. And she hadn't even tried to hide her jealousy this time. It was out in the open for everyone to see. Once again she just assumed he had already slept with the woman. She was driving him crazy. Did she want him to wait for her or not?

"Stop saying that," he pushed through his gritted teeth. His sudden anger startling her. They were standing in front of the murder board. She looked around nervously to see if anyone had heard him.

"It's your life Castle, do what you want," she said with a forced casualness and a flippant wave of her hand.

"What I want?" He asked almost laughing. She narrowed her eyes at him in warning. When he opened his mouth as if to speak again she grabbed his forearm and pulled him into the break room. It wasn't ideal, the blinds were open and shutting the door would only draw everyone's attention, but it was better than the middle of the bullpen.

"What is your problem?" Kate spat. He just looked at her for a long moment, trying to decipher the emotions she'd been failing to hide from him all day.

"You keep telling me to do what I want," he said, a strange mix of anger and amusement burning in his eyes.

"Yeah, so?" Kate said exasperated, not sure exactly what the hell her partner was trying to say.

"What I _want_ Kate, is you!" Castle said throwing his hands up. "And maybe I read it wrong, but it kind of seemed like you were asking me to wait for you on those swings."

Kate's heart began beating wildly in her chest. Oh shit. Damnit.

"I-" Kate tried, but she could hardly breathe under Castle's steady gaze.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" He asked quietly, his face softening.

Kate could feel tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't answer her therapist all those months ago and damnit she still didn't know. Well, that's a lie, she did know.

"It's not fair to you," she whispered unable to look at him. She lost her fight for control as a few treacherous tears escaped. Her eyes were glued to a spot on the floor. Castle gently lifted her chin, forcing eye contact. His eyes were glassy but dry, his Adam's apple bobbing betraying his nerves.

"Do you_ want_ me to wait?" He asked again, his eyes boring straight through her.

"Yes," she answered selfishly before she could stop herself. He searched her face for any hesitation and when he seemed satisfied he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Ok," he said with a small smile. "Then I'll wait," he added like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Kate swallowed hard, her eyes wide and searching. Castle just simply grinned and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her eyes flicked down to his lips causing his grin to falter. However, the moment was broken when Esposito called for Beckett from the bullpen. Castle dropped his hand from where it had settled at her neck and turned to leave.

"Why?" She asked just before he reached the door. He answered with out turning to face her.

"You know why."

And she did know why. And apparently he knew that she knew why. Shit.

...

The rest of the day was too hectic to even think about their earlier exchange. They got one lead after another and it was well past 9 o'clock when Castle said his goodnight. Kate watched as he left, her bottom lip firmly between her teeth.

Before she realized it, she was following him into the elevator. He was surprised when he turned to press the button and instead was faced with Kate. He raised an eyebrow as she reached back and pushed the L. She waited for the doors to close before speaking.

"I need you to say it," she stated. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You mean you need me to say it _again_," he challenged.

"Yes," she nearly begged. She couldn't read his eyes, couldn't tell if he was angry or just hurt.

"How long?" He asked, his voice steady. Her head dropped, unable to look at him.

"I never forgot, I just-" She swallowed hard. He was being unusually quiet. "If you said it because I was dying I'd understand-"

"That's what you think Kate?" He asked horrified. She gave a small shrug of her shoulder. It made more sense than Richard Castle actually loving her.

She finally looked up at him. Hurt, it was definitely hurt etched across his handsome face. The elevator dinged announcing its arrival to the lobby. Without a word Castle grabbed her hand and pulled her from the building.

They walked in silence for several blocks before he led her into a small alley. She leaned against the brick wall of what smelled like a Chinese restaurant and watched as he paced back and forth in near darkness. Every six steps or so he'd pass under a light. His brow was furrowed and it looked like he was having an argument with himself.

Castle suddenly stopped and took a large gulp of air before turning toward her. With a look of sheer determination he pushed her firmly against the wall and then before she could even register what was happening, he kissed her. It was quick, but thorough and over entirely too soon. Kate couldn't stop the whimper that escaped when he pulled back. Suddenly she couldn't find one damn reason why she wasn't with this man. This man who was still only inches away from her, searching her for something, anything. He swallowed hard, his gaze never wavering.

"I'm in love with you Kate," he whispered. Her eyes slid shut. Her heart was beating wildly. It was taking every fiber of her being not to kiss him again. After what felt like a few minutes she heard him sigh and moved to push off the wall. Without opening her eyes she grabbed his shirt, holding him to her.

"I-I don't want to ruin this Rick, that's why I lied. You deserve better."

"Not possible," he said confidently. "It doesn't get better than you."

Kate laughed at the statement shaking her head. He could do so much better than her. He deserved someone far less broken.

She looked up at him shyly through her eyelashes, not sure what she wanted anymore. Could she really ask him to wait for her? What if she was never ready?

"What if I never catch him Castle?"

"_We _will," he said without hesitance.

"You don't know that..." He cut her off with a feather light kiss across her lips.

"I do. Let me _help_ you. You don't have to do this alone," he pleaded softly.

"Do what alone?" she asked him. Was he talking about her mother's case or just her life in general?

"Any of it."

Maybe it was his close proximity or the sincerity dripping from his voice. Whatever it was snapped her resolve. The little piece of her mind (which had been growing smaller and smaller by the day) that insisted she must wait until her mother's case was resolved to be with Castle was suddenly gone. Poof.

She took a deep breath and pulled his mouth back to hers. This kiss was both tender and bruising and completely consuming. The world fell away, as clichéd as that sounded. She would have rolled her eyes if his tongue hadn't just slipped into her mouth. She heard herself moan which only spurred Castle on. His hands were both holding her against the wall and roaming up and down her torso. Her hands weren't idle either. They had found their way between his jacket and shirt holding him to her.

After breaking for a quick breath Castle slowed his attack. He gently sucked on her lower lip as he dragged the tips of his fingers across her cheek bones.

"I love you," she sighed in between kisses. His answering smile was radiant. He pushed off of her and offered his hand. Kate laced her fingers with his as they made their way quietly down the sidewalk. "How long would you really have waited?" She asked, her curiosity refusing to be stifled.

"As long as I had to," he answered without pause.


End file.
